“Turning thirty” try saying that five times fast! I struggle saying it once, too many T’s. As my thirtieth year drew near, I started noticing all the expectations I had set for myself for things I wanted to achieve before it came. The list goes like this:
• Finish school
• Get married
• Buy a house
• Have a career
• Own a car
• Own a dog
• Have a kid
And while I was able to achieve many, I felt disappointed in myself. I hadn’t completed them all, and it dawned on me that none of this matters. I mean, it does; having a family and the means to take care of it, do matter but the time frame for achieving these things does not. Of course, it would be preferred to have your finances sorted while you are young because that might help with an early retirement but all in all we shouldn’t burden ourselves with whether or not we were able to achieve big goals before a certain age. Here are a few other things I have learned in my twenties.
College and Trade School are both Great Options
I must admit, while I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was very smug. I was a young college student and ready to do what it takes to get my degree. I frowned upon those who decided to go to a trade school and I thought I was doing better by going to college. Well, turns out I got my degree but I didn’t necessarily need my degree to get to where I am today. I still think college is worth it but not an end all decision. If the options are go to college or go to trade school, I’d say do at least one. Either is better than not pursuing further education.
Don’t Rush Into Marriage
I personally know how annoying it is to have people invested in your personal life and feel the pressure to find a partner sooner rather than later but make sure you are doing this for the right reasons. Don’t marry just anyone to get people to stop asking “When are you going to get married?” Because guess what happens after you get married, they start to ask “When are you going to have kids?” And then you have a kid and the questions changes to “When are you going to have another one?” I will admit I’ve had to snap at a few people for asking these questions because they can be invasive and honestly it really isn’t any of their business. But to get back on topic (I can rant for days about people asking inappropriate questions so I’ll stop myself here) don’t rush into marriage.
If you find someone, make sure they are a good match. Find out about their past and how it has molded them. Now, I’m not saying go on a full blown investigation, but really vet them. After all, you will be spending the rest of your life with this person (hopefully). Marriage is a serious decision and should not be rushed. If something about the person rubs you the wrong way, don’t dismiss it.
Social Media is Overrated
There was a time when I would take a picture of my meals, because my friends and followers just had to know that I was eating good food. I had to document everywhere I went so that my life would seem exciting. I needed that rush of dopamine from likes to let me know I was doing good. After years of doing this, I got lazy, and didn’t feel like posting all the time. This turned out to be a blessing for me, because it made me realize that I don’t need to notify everyone of what I am doing or eating. Sometimes, the urge come back but I remind myself that I don’t need to prove myself to anyone online and I don’t owe anyone an explanation for what is going on in my life, and you don’t either. Unless you and an influencer, I guess.
Be Where Your Feet Are
Quoting Jason Mraz there, but seriously, be where your feet are. I have one huge bad habit and it’s that I can rarely ever be in the moment. As I write this I am on vacation and I can’t tell you how many times I have thought about what I need to do when I get back home. I have to actively remind myself to be in the moment. We can’t go back to the past and we can’t fast forward to the future so might as well enjoy the moment or at least be in it (for when the moment isn’t exactly a joyous one).
Be in the moment, is the last piece of advise I’ll give for this post. I hope this has helped give some perspective on a few things that really matter. I’ll leave you with a quote from Jason Mraz’ “Be Where Your Feet Are”
“If you’re lost, just relax
And be where your feet are”“Be Where Your Feet Are” – Jason Mraz
SDG – “Soli Deo Gloria”